What is a Wedding Celebrant?
Part of being a wedding celebrant is educating couples about what a wedding celebrant actually is. I have been to an abundance of wedding fairs and wedding venue showcases and met hundreds of couples who were unaware a wedding celebrant was even an option. Worse than this, is when you enlighten them about wedding celebrants and the forlorn look on their faces when they tell you they already have a registrar booked but wish they were having a wedding celebrant instead because it “feels more us”.
So what actually is a wedding celebrant?
What does a celebrant-led wedding ceremony look like?
What is the difference between a wedding celebrant and a registrar?
How to find and choose a wedding celebrant?
What questions to ask your wedding celebrant?
Final thoughts on wedding celebrants
So what actually is a wedding celebrant?
A wedding celebrant is an alternative option to a religious ceremony and a civil ceremony delivered by a registrar. A wedding celebrant creates and delivers a wedding ceremony which is completely bespoke and personal to you - the wedding couple. They work closely with you, getting to know you and your journey to marriage in detail so that they can write and conduct a wedding ceremony which truly captures the essence of your relationship – how amazing is that!
What does a celebrant-led wedding ceremony look like?
The beauty of a celebrant-led wedding ceremony is that there are absolutely no restrictions. No rules and regulations, your wedding ceremony is your oyster as it were – it can include anything you want. But perhaps this a bit vague for those of you reading this blog post and are actually wanting to know what a celebrant-led ceremony could and/or typically might look like. This is a hard question to answer as a wedding celebrant as every wedding ceremony is utterly unique but let me give you a little run down of how it might look.
1. Before you enter – the wedding celebrant will warmly welcome everyone to your wedding ceremony. They will introduce themselves to your guests and will make any housekeeping announcements, for example, if you are having an unplugged wedding they will ask that phones are switched off or onto silent and put away for the duration of your wedding ceremony.
2. The wedding couple enter – this may be individually, this may be together, with a parent, both parents, a friend, a pet, on a horse, on a moped…you get the idea. Traditionally, the groom is already in the wedding ceremony space when the bride enters but why shouldn’t both of you have fabulous entrance? Food for thought maybe…
3. Welcoming words from the wedding celebrant – your wedding celebrant will signpost you and your guests, letting them know what’s coming next, putting you and them at ease. They will thank guests for coming and may shout out anyone who has putting some extra graft by coming from the other side of the country or overseas.
4. Maybe a reading? - if you’re having one, your wedding celebrant will introduce your reader with the love and care they deserve, maybe tell the guests a little about them, why you have chosen them to read for you and why this particular reading is significant to you as a couple.
5. The Love Story – no doubt this is the part of your wedding ceremony your wedding celebrant has poured their heart and soul into. They have taken every detail you have told them about your journey to getting wed and have curated it into the most beautiful love story you have ever heard, what makes it beautiful? It’s yours.
6. The vows and ring exchange – the serious bit, but it doesn’t have to be with a wedding celebrant! Are you getting the gist yet? You can write personal vows which are witty yet romantic and heartfelt, you can sing, rap, dance – whatever you want! When it comes to the rings, some couples choose not to exchange these when they do the legal bit and instead save this element for their celebrant-led wedding ceremony and others choose to exchange something else entirely. For example, myself and my husband exchanged friendship bracelets because they had meaning and were personal to us.
7. A symbolic ritual of your choosing - if you want a ritual and this can coincide with your vows and ring exchange – again, what sort of ritual you choose is entirely up to you. A common ritual is a sand ceremony, where the couple choose different coloured sands to pour into a jar/vase of some kind this then becomes a unique keepsake to remind you of the vows you made plus it makes for some quirky pics! Some other examples of rituals are ring warming, unity candle and handfasting. Again, think about which ritual speaks to you as a couple and reflects your love.
8. Perhaps a song or another reading – if you choose to include a symbolic ritual in your wedding ceremony, you may want a reading delivered at the same time. For example, if you choose a ring warming ritual you may want to have a reading as the rings are passed around the guests (bear in mind this may take a long time if you are having a lot of guests so you will need to choose a reading of an appropriate length). Alternatively, you may choose for everyone to engage in a good ole sing song once you have made your vows to one another. Again, your wedding your choice! Lots of couples choose something upbeat and well-known BUT don’t forget to print the words for your guests – don’t assume everyone will know the words just because you do!
9. Closing words – that’s it…it you want it to be. My point is, it’s up to you! A wedding celebrant’s job is to create and deliver the wedding ceremony you want with as many components as desired. Your wedding ceremony is at the heart of your wedding day and deserves not to be rushed but equally if you are not having a lot of guest participation you don’t want your wedding ceremony to be too long or your guests’ minds wonder, usually in the direction of canapes.
10. Exit – after your wedding celebrant has delivered some closing words they will invite you to take your exit, this is usually back up the aisle hand in hand with plenty of whooping and clapping but maybe you’re keen cyclists and leaving your wedding ceremony on a tandem bike is more your style. Whatever your vision is for your wedding ceremony, a wedding celebrant such as myself, can help you achieve it.
What is the difference between a wedding celebrant and a registrar?
This is without a doubt the most common question I am asked at wedding fairs and wedding venue showcases. Put bluntly, in the UK, a registrar does the legal bit – they are a government official and they ensure your marriage is legally binding. They deliver wedding ceremonies at licensed venues, follow a standardised script and issue your marriage certificate. With a registrar, you do not know who will turn up to deliver your wedding ceremony and they are often booked for multiple weddings in one day meaning there is no wriggle room on timings. In order for your marriage to be legally binding, there are certain restrictions in place and this can stifle your individuality as a couple.
So a wedding celebrant, in the UK, cannot legally marry you…but so what? Instead, they are an individual who is deeply invested in your wedding ceremony from the moment they meet you and who is an expert in crafting a wedding ceremony which is totally you. They deliver wedding ceremonies which are deeply personal and can incorporate symbolic rituals if desired. They can marry you anywhere, anytime so if you have always dreamt of getting married in your parents’ garden, at your favourite beach spot to watch the sunset or in the woodland where you walk your fluffy four legged friend, a wedding celebrant is game! There are no constraints on your wedding ceremony and it can include literally anything you want. Working with a wedding celebrant, like me, is a collaborative experience and one which will truly enrich your wedding day.
How to find and choose a wedding celebrant?
Unlike a registrar, you work closely with a wedding celebrant in the lead up to your wedding so they can get to know you as a couple and they can create a wedding ceremony which feels very you, therefore, it is therefore essential that you choose a wedding celebrant which is a good match. There are a few ways to go about finding a wedding celebrant that suits you:
1. Venue Showcases – the wedding venue you have chosen will no doubt have some recommended suppliers who will attend their venue showcases. Wedding venues will choose suppliers which compliment their setting and so going along to these events will allow you to potentially meet a wedding celebrant who is already your vibe and who the wedding venue have confidence in. I myself am a wedding celebrant at several Surrey wedding venues, including Botley Hill Barn, Gate Street Barn and Denbies Wine Estate.
2. Wedding Fairs – similar to venue showcases, but wedding suppliers have paid to be there rather than being hand-selected by a wedding venue and so you will have a large assortment of wedding suppliers to filter through but this is a great opportunity to potentially meet several wedding celebrants all in one location and get a feel for how they work and asses whether or not you gel with them.
3. Recommendations – have you been a friend or family member’s celebrant-led wedding ceremony and thought you really like their wedding celebrant but don’t want you friends and/or family to think the wedding ceremony will be the same? THINK AGAIN! With a wedding celebrant, every wedding ceremony is unique so don’t be put off by this approach.
4. Directories – a bit like a wedding fair, wedding suppliers pay to be on directories such as Hitched. Wedding suppliers who pay the most get the top spots on the search pages, so be warned – just because a wedding celebrant is at the top and listed as ‘premium’ or ‘gold’ etc. it means they were willing to pay the most money, not that they are the best wedding celebrant for the job.
5. Search Engine/Social media - a good ole Google will lead to many many wedding celebrants. It takes work to get to page 1 and again the wedding celebrants found through your search may just be SEO experts or may have paid an SEO specialist to get them ranking higher. Again, the wedding celebrant willing to pay may not be the best fit for you so don’t be afraid to go through several pages and apply this knowledge to social media platforms also.
6. Other wedding suppliers – your wedding venue’s recommended celebrants is a really good place to start but if this is not an option for you, simply ask your other wedding suppliers if there are any wedding celebrants they recommend. Pick the brains of your those who work closely with celebrants such as photographers and videographers.
Once you have found a wedding celebrant you love, book them in! Some wedding celebrants get booked up a year to a year and a half in advance. Ideally, you want to be booking them around the same time as your other wedding suppliers so you don’t miss out on someone you really like. If the wedding celebrant you really love isn’t available for your wedding date, chances are they can recommend someone who is a similar vibe – fingers crossed they have your wedding date free!
What questions to ask your wedding celebrant?
When chatting to a wedding celebrant you are considering hiring there are a few questions you may want to ask before locking them in:
1. How does the process work from first enquiry to the wedding day?
Wedding celebrants are as individual as the couples they marry and so they all have different ways of working. Some offer a virtual initial meeting, others may offer you a face to face meeting. Most will send you questionnaires to complete as your wedding draws closer which they will use to create your ceremony. How they present your draft wedding ceremony script to you again varies on the wedding celebrant – they may choose to send it to you so that you can make edits, or they may like to read it to you, virtually or in person so that you can hear how the words will actually sound on the day. Some, very brave IMO, wedding celebrants do not submit their drafts to their wedding couples at all and instead all is revealed at the wedding ceremony. Your wedding celebrant may offer you a rehearsal right before your wedding ceremony but not necessarily. Ultimately though, wedding celebrants are flexible so if want a rehearsal but they don’t offer you one…ask! No doubt they would be happy to deliver a rehearsal for a little extra money.
2. Can they include X,Y and Z?
A Wedding Celebrants job is to provide the wedding ceremony you want. So generally speaking, they can incorporate anything you want into your wedding ceremony. Wedding celebrants are creative so they will have lots of ideas of their own for your wedding ceremony which they will be forthcoming with but don’t be afraid to ask them to incorporate something a little out of the box…the answer will usually be yes.
3. What happens if they are ill on the day?
Ok hopefully this doesn’t happen but if it does, do not fear! Wedding celebrants work alone, therefore, they make many great connections with other local wedding celebrants. Chances are, if they really are so ill they cannot deliver your wedding ceremony, they will have a pool of wedding celebrants they can call upon to help them out.
4. How much does it cost and are there are any additional charges?
Wedding celebrant charges range hugely. Most have a flat rate, however, some will charge ‘from x’ this is because some wedding celebrants will add more on to their quote if after talking to you they feel your wedding ceremony will take additional time to create. It may because you want symbolic rituals and they are adding this on top, others may ask you to purchase equipment needed for these yourselves or ask that they are reimbursed. Some wedding celebrants will charge you for additional travel beyond a certain distance and accommodation if required – so make sure you ask so that booking your wedding celebrant doesn’t add up to a lot more than additionally budgeted for.
Final thoughts on wedding celebrants
Part of being a wedding celebrant is about educating wedding couples that there is another option. In my opinion, wedding celebrants are genuinely invested in you and your wedding ceremony. They truly want to deliver you a beyond magical wedding ceremony which is both deeply personal and bursting at the seams with love and joy. They are artists in their own right, planning, creating and delivering a one-of-a-kind masterpiece which has been made especially for you – with love.
If after reading this blog post you feel that a wedding celebrant-led ceremony is the right choice for you, I would absolutely love to be part of your day. Visit my website to learn more or click here to arrange a free of charge virtual cuppa.
Related:
https://www.madewithlovecelebrations.co.uk/
